Meeting the girlfriends parents Japanese style

I have a charming Japanese penpal. At 65 little older than myself, and also with a 30 year old daughter. He recently told me how his daughter brought her new boyfiend home for the first time. They all sat together in silence in a darkened room drinking tea. The only sound they could hear was the boiling water, he said. Of course that was a new one on me. He said they all enjoyed their first meeting. Now in my case, I have 3 sons and a daughter, but each time any one of them has brought someone new to our home, it's been a rather embarrassing encounter. For both sides. Sitting across a table in broad daylight, it's hard to know what to say and where to look. However polite and friendly everyone tries to be, it is in essence an examination. Sitting together in a darkened room, without having to speak sounds so much more pleasant to me. I think I'll try that next time myself. It is apparently a Japanese custom.